I HATE the word Perfection. I think it's because in this world I truly believe this does not exist. Although my brain seems to have a really hard time accepting it. I wrestle with this word all the time!
I think Mothers generally put a LOT of expectations on themselves.
I certainly do....I'm amazing at running myself into the ground everyday, pushing myself with all the jobs I must get through each day and wait they have to be instagram worthy, beautiful in everyway and done to the highest standards! I must teach my kids to the best of my ability, clean to my best ability, cook and bake to my best ability even if it means yelling at everybody else in the meantime to pursue my desire of perfection.....
I get it, it's so hard to let go of this awful word. My cleaner came yesterday and when she had left I felt like I needed to guard the bathroom like a solider in order to keep it looking top notch! Ridiculous I know!
And then there's comparison that other JOY thief-I did this loads when I started out as a mother. 'Her kid talks already', 'Her kids are in pants', 'Her kid behaves so well out in public!' Thoughts that leave us feeling inadequate and constantly like we are on a race to keep up with those around us.
I had a day grounded in a desperation for perfection last week I felt unsettled and robbed of enjoyment of the amazing things around me as I drank my coffee and tried to shrug these feelings. A girl walked passed wearing a t-shirt that said 'perfectly imperfect' and then it hit me!! I'm striving for the impossible, striving for a place I can never be in as it doesn't exist.
If I manage to achieve this in my mind I'm utterly miserable as a result! It's taken SO long to figure this out for myself. I need to ground myself in the Lord and not in the world's expectations or even more my own stupid expectations. To press forward looking at what is really important, happy hearts or a perfect home? Asking myself what do I want this life to represent? How can I be a bringer of Joy to my home today?
Photo by Aziz Acharki on Unsplash