This time last year I walked around Bristol Children's Hospital agonising over weather to drive back to Cornwall to be with my daughter on her first birthday or stay with a very unwell Caleb at a very uncertain time. My heart longed to be with my little girl but felt totally split as I felt I couldn't leave Caleb either. Motherhood seems to be good at making you feel torn between two things, and the guilt can be overwhelming! As I drank coffee with a local mother who happened to also be in Bristol as she had a super sick baby, we shared one large common and strong theme: GUILT. The guilt that makes no sense but is so magnified it makes you feel sick! Especially in impossible situations where your only real hope is to pray.
I've learned and I continue to learn, we as mothers and humans put far to much pressure on ourselves and it is not AT ALL fruitful! It doesn't add anything of any benefit or purpose! Perfection just does not exist (not in this world)!
So today on her 2nd birthday its been a good reminder of 'Thankfulness. I've stopped and done a lot of treasuring mentally today. Yes, life is so flipping different to last year.
Take time to stop and look at your blessings in this crazy busy world and life we walk. No matter how hard my day I'm going to keep telling myself life's a gift. Being intentional is important.
The HARD days SUCK but the good days roll in too. When your in them, remember to stop and breath it all in. Take pictures. Smile with your kids, even if you don't feel like it. Be brave, keep living. Keep going. SMILE.